笑话6则

< 美麗又愚蠢 >


丈夫對妻子說："為什么上帝把女人造得那么美麗卻又那么愚蠢呢？"



妻子回答道："上帝把我們造得美麗，你們才會愛我們，把我們造得愚蠢，我們才會愛你們。"



< 目標變了>



夫妻二人吃飯時，妻子說："你現在怎么盡挑魚背上的肉吃？記得我們談戀愛時，你最愛吃魚頭魚尾 …… "



"情況不同了嘛！" 丈夫說："現在我的目標是吃魚，當時我的目標是釣魚。"



< 饒你一次 >



一個男人很怕老婆。



一天，他老婆又當著客人的面和他吵了起來，并打了他一耳光。



為了面子，男子壯著膽子大吼："你敢再打我一下？ "



他老婆毫不猶豫地又打了一下。男子看嚇不住老婆，只得說：" 既然你這么听話，我就饒你一次吧。"



< 何必如此 >



妻子心血來潮，站在鏡子前仔細端詳，發現自己的臉竟是那樣難看，不禁放聲大哭。



坐在一旁觀察已久的丈夫說："你偶爾照一次鏡子就那么傷心，那我天天看著你又該怎么辦？ "


< 跟在家一樣 >



妻子到監獄探望丈夫時問： "親愛的，你在這里過得怎么樣？"



" 就跟在家一樣，哪儿也不讓去，伙食也糟透了…… "

< 夢話 >



妻子關心地對丈夫說："老公，你近來老是說夢話，要不我陪你去醫院檢查一下身体？"



丈夫惊慌地答道："不用，如果醫生給我治好了這毛病，那么我在家里的這一點點發言權都沒有了！"

Vancouver Vacation Tips

It was before last year. I made a PowerPoint, but cannot find. I have to write again. I will add more pictures after...

Spring Lawn Care

Spring Lawn Care Tip #1: Raking

Raking will be your first task of spring lawn care. Okay, I can hear the groans coming from all lands near and far, wherever grassy carpets are cultivated: "But we already raked leaves in the fall!" Sorry, but raking is for more than just removing leaves: it's for controlling thatch, too. A thatch build-up of more than 1/2 inch is considered excessive.

Replacing a Serpentine Belt - EricTheCarGuy

1. When to change?

The situation could leave you stranded on a highway or busy metropolitan street waiting for a costly tow to a local repair shop.

Listen for signs of impending belt failure. A squealing noise when the car accelerates means the belt is slipping and is not efficiently turning the drive accessories. The belt tensioner also could be worn and in need of immediate replacement.

Look for excessive cracks in the belt’s V-ribs, and chunks that have broken off the ribs.

Gates engineers say, however, visual appearance is not a reliable indicator of the expected service life of a belt. They recommend replacing the serpentine belt every four years.

Ask your technician to check both the belt and the tensioner while the car is being serviced this spring.

To inspect a serpentine belt for wear, turn the engine off and twist the belt slightly. If the V-ribs show excessive cracks or chucks are missing, have the belt replaced immediately before it fails.

2. How to change
http://youtu.be/Wg1AX77xEBQ

Car lost control experience

 

Yesterday evening, there was a snow storm, when I drove to the church, the snow was not so hard. I left my car in the parking, then went to service. There was a special speaker yesterday. He is Pastor Jamie Taylor, Hudson Taylor’s 5^th generation. His whole family devote to mission in China. I was eager to hear his speech for a long time.

Cuba_Varadero Vacation Tips

Preface: Varadero is a small peninsula. only hotel on it. no residents. The enviroment is super clean.
If you're first time to go there. The following tips may help you.

How And Where To Report Cyber Crime

 

You can contact with:
Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3)

http://ic3.gov/

The Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) is a partnership between the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and the National White Collar Crime Center (NW3C). IC3's mission is to serve as a vehicle to receive, develop, and refer criminal complaints regarding the rapidly expanding arena of cyber crime. The IC3 gives the victims of cyber crime a convenient and easy-to-use reporting mechanism that alerts authorities of suspected criminal or civil violations. For law enforcement and regulatory agencies at the federal, state, local and international level, IC3 provides a central referral mechanism for complaints involving Internet related crimes. read more >> http://ic3.gov/